Weigh in day arrives....

WOW, is all I have to say. I've been really good this week, but didn't think I would have had such a successful week as I have had. I've just weighed in and I'm down to 366.4lbs :O)

That's a total of 6.4lbs in one week. I am SOOOO pleased.

I'm also picking up an exercise bike today as well I can use at home. I almost don't believe I've lost the weight. I've tried SO many times before, that this almost feels like a dream....and I've not lost the weight really.

Still, I stand on the scales more than once and always take the highest reading, so I must be loosing the weight and that's what I need to keep telling myself.

I've got a really bad cough at the moment (man cough of course) which is making me feel crap, so once I've got rid of this I can start to knock out some miles on the bike which should help a great deal.

I am planning on joining the gym, but, at the moment, I'm too embarrassed because of my weight, so I'm aiming to get down to 350lbs and then look at joining....silly I know, but that is how I feel.

Well, that's about it. Feeling really pleased with myself and looking forward another great week.

BJ

So.....hows it going....

It's been a while since I posted last. I've been to Miami on business for a week and the last week has been so busy catching up I've not had a chance to post.

I was really worried about keeping things going while I was in Miami. I did however go for the healthy options and stick to smaller portions. The day after I got back I did a weigh in.....and was very disappointed. I weighed more than when I started on my new life style.

Needless to say I was extremely disappointed...wanted to give it all up etc. etc.

Anyway, I then didn't weight until my weigh in day on the Sunday, and, to my surprise I had actually lost another 2 pounds, so must have been carrying water etc from the flight.

That gave me a huge boost and really set me up to carry on.

It's now Wednesday and I've had another sneaky weigh in....I was 374.2lbs on Sunday 14th January, and I am now 370lbs. The weight is coming off at a nice steady pace and I'm so pleased. When you see weight coming off like that or even feel just a little better in your clothes, it is just such an incentive.

I'm going to start to exercise more now as well by using a gym bike in the house to really keep things moving forward.

Well that's it for now and I'll try and keep the posts coming a little more regularly.

BJ

So far so good....

Well, its day four and I'm feeling great. The empty feeling I've been getting has started to get less and less. No milk, bread etc is going well and I'm feeling happy on the low calorie intake I'm on. I'm on about 1800 calories per day at the moment and drinking water/eating fruit if I feel hungry between meals.

Even though I should have left it a full week, I did another weigh in this morning. The scales say I'm down to 375.4, which is fantastic as it's already 3.2lbs down.

So, at the moment things are going really well, I'm not craving anything and already starting to feel better in myself. Now that could just be psychological, but I don't care :o) as feeling good like this is helping with the motivation.

I must say that I don't think I've ever felt so motivated to deal with my weight as I do now. Some of this could be down to the realization that its not just about the outside but the inside of your body too. I had some blood tests recently which showed some elevated readings which are normally associated with drinking....hick!!....but I don't actually drink....anyway, I've been for some more tests and whilst the final results are not back, it could be that I have what they call a "fatty liver". This makes the liver inflamed and can raise the readings I have had.

Hearing those words "FATTY LIVER" really did hit home and made me realise that it really isn't just about how you look, its the damage your doing on the inside. My cholesterol was ok, but I need to the loose the weight even more now because of this possible "fatty liver".

So, all in all I have some good motivation to keep this new lifestyle going and achieve my goals.

Well, that's it for another post. Catch you later.

BJ

Day two...

Well, day two. Woken up with a really bad headache today and feeling really empty. I had the same breakfast as yesterday (176cals worth of Corn flakes and semi-skimmed milk). That took the empty feeling away, but the headache will just not go.

My mind is also playing tricks on me today. Even though I feel empty, not so much hungry, just empty, but I keep thinking..."you cant eat what you want anymore....you cant eat what you want anymore". It's not like I'm craving anything, just physiological.

Still, I'm working today so emails and phone calls etc etc are keeping me from thinking about it too much, it's just when I sit back for five minutes.

Lunch today was a bowl of Tomato soup and a plain bread roll (no spreads on it at all). Once I was done I then remembered that one of my goals was not to have any bread....felt stupid then that I'd had the roll, still, only one roll...

Been drinking water today but finding that hard. As I start to drink my stomach just feels really full, but I'll keep drinking it anyway. Felt hungry this afternoon so had a banana which sorted me out.

Well, back to work, catch you later.

P.S. I did a sneaky check of the scales this morning....even though I promised myself I wouldn't and its only been one day!!!!! still, 0.6 lbs down from yesterday WOOHOO, just another 150 odd to go...

First thoughts...

Well, I'm kinda three quarters through my first day. Not a great achievement yet, but today has been a real day of deep thought. I've been really good today, had 175 calories worth of cornflakes for breakfast and a small roast beef dinner. I also got the bike out and went for a ride with my wife and children and been drinking loads of water. All this has been great, but I have been thinking a lot about the challenge ahead.

I'm back to work tomorrow and my weight has really started to effect how I think about work. My job involves performing presentations to people every week. I've never had a problem with this in the past, but over the last 18 months to 2 years, my increasing size and lack of self esteem has been taking its toll. I've on many occasions seriously thought about not leaving the house, or catching a flight, just because of the anxiety has been so great.

I've got those feelings today, but, because of the change in life style I'm making I feel better able to cope with it.

My big worry is when I am away from home again. I fly to the US on Saturday 6th and its whilst away that I've always had problems eating the right stuff. I normally end up just eating whatever crap is easily available. This time around I'm going to work much harder to eat healthy...

Something I didn't mention in my first post was the diet I'm on which a lot of bloggers seem to do, well, I'm not following a diet as such. As I said in my original post, this is a life style change and I'm really just going to change my eating habits and content. So I'm cutting out bread (which I eat by the ton), dairy (as I drink a mountain of semi-skimmed milk every week), sugar, salt etc. The kind of stuff we all know we should watch but then ignore and get stuck into a very large jam doughnut :O)

Hmmmm, that actually sounds like a diet, so I suppose I'm just not using the D word and want this to last forever rather than a few weeks ;o)

Well, that's it again. Sorry for the long posts but I'm just getting used to putting down my thoughts and activities into the blog. I'm sure I'll get more concise as time goes on.

Thanks for reading

The journey begins...

So, this is my first post in the blog...it's also my first blog...

I was wondering this morning how many other people at the stroke of midnight were making new years resolutions about loosing weight. I know I've done it many times, only to loose all my motivation as soon as I see I've done a week and maybe lost nothing, or 1lb.

At the stroke of midnight last night I made the same promise to myself I have done before, but, this time something did feel different.

I'm 35 years old, have 3 children and currently weigh in at 378.6lbs. I've always been a big chap. Even at school I was bullied for my size and my family are all big people as well. For years I've tried to accept that this was my fate and nothing was going to change that. Well, that has changed over 2006. I'm bigger now than I have ever been and I'm starting to really feel it physically. Also, my dad has been diagnosed with Diebetes which has worried me, and so as of today I start a new life.

I'm not calling it a diet as this has always cunjoured up thoughts of being punished for some reason, and those thoughts are enough to get you down, and once your down your motivation disappears and before you know it, your eating to make yourself feel better. I have been there SOOOOO many times.

So, rather than calling this a diet, its a new way of life, as this has to be for life. I know for a fact that if I diet, loose weight and then stop the diet, I will just pile the pounds back on again. So, this is something which is going to be how I live for the rest of my life.

While I'm sat here writing this, I know its not going to be easy. I know I'm going to have times where I'm fed up, depressed or just bored and I"ll want to reach out for those comfort snacks, but I know that this time its something I've got to get over. According to my BMI (body mass index) which is around 49....I am MORBIDLY OBESE...as if OBESE was not enough or a bad word...I now have to have the word MORBIDLY put in front of it. This is the kind of stuff that could kill me at a young age and stop me from seeing my kids grow up. That is a VERY scary thought, and something else which is I hope going to help me stay positive.

This all sounds really bad, and it is, but I'm also looking forward to getting my life back, being able to run around with my children, go out and buy normal clothes which look smart and make me feel good. These are all things I've not been able to do for a long time. I also want my self-esteem back as well. My work involves me performing many presentations per week to strangers, and since really putting on the weight, I've been finding this harder and harder to deal with as I think they are all starring at me, or silently thinking how fat I look. Huh, talk about paranoid, but that is how it makes you feel and I'm fed up with it.

I'm not taking this on alone either. My fantastic wife is also going to be joining me in this new life style as is a close friend. I'm sure that this kind of support is going to make a real difference and help drive me through those tough times, and of course, I'll return the favour.

I suppose that's all I have to say at the moment. I just wanted to get my thoughts out there on how I feel now and what I want to do. Even if no one ever reads this blog, it's almost like theory, and something to look back on and read over time. I"m also going to post some photos as well. I've found before that its easy not to spot the changes that are happening over time. So I'm hoping photos at regular intervals will let me see the changes over time and become another source of encouragement.

So, my first day begins and so does my journey from fat to flat........heres to a slimmer more healthy 2007.