The journey begins...

So, this is my first post in the blog...it's also my first blog...

I was wondering this morning how many other people at the stroke of midnight were making new years resolutions about loosing weight. I know I've done it many times, only to loose all my motivation as soon as I see I've done a week and maybe lost nothing, or 1lb.

At the stroke of midnight last night I made the same promise to myself I have done before, but, this time something did feel different.

I'm 35 years old, have 3 children and currently weigh in at 378.6lbs. I've always been a big chap. Even at school I was bullied for my size and my family are all big people as well. For years I've tried to accept that this was my fate and nothing was going to change that. Well, that has changed over 2006. I'm bigger now than I have ever been and I'm starting to really feel it physically. Also, my dad has been diagnosed with Diebetes which has worried me, and so as of today I start a new life.

I'm not calling it a diet as this has always cunjoured up thoughts of being punished for some reason, and those thoughts are enough to get you down, and once your down your motivation disappears and before you know it, your eating to make yourself feel better. I have been there SOOOOO many times.

So, rather than calling this a diet, its a new way of life, as this has to be for life. I know for a fact that if I diet, loose weight and then stop the diet, I will just pile the pounds back on again. So, this is something which is going to be how I live for the rest of my life.

While I'm sat here writing this, I know its not going to be easy. I know I'm going to have times where I'm fed up, depressed or just bored and I"ll want to reach out for those comfort snacks, but I know that this time its something I've got to get over. According to my BMI (body mass index) which is around 49....I am MORBIDLY OBESE...as if OBESE was not enough or a bad word...I now have to have the word MORBIDLY put in front of it. This is the kind of stuff that could kill me at a young age and stop me from seeing my kids grow up. That is a VERY scary thought, and something else which is I hope going to help me stay positive.

This all sounds really bad, and it is, but I'm also looking forward to getting my life back, being able to run around with my children, go out and buy normal clothes which look smart and make me feel good. These are all things I've not been able to do for a long time. I also want my self-esteem back as well. My work involves me performing many presentations per week to strangers, and since really putting on the weight, I've been finding this harder and harder to deal with as I think they are all starring at me, or silently thinking how fat I look. Huh, talk about paranoid, but that is how it makes you feel and I'm fed up with it.

I'm not taking this on alone either. My fantastic wife is also going to be joining me in this new life style as is a close friend. I'm sure that this kind of support is going to make a real difference and help drive me through those tough times, and of course, I'll return the favour.

I suppose that's all I have to say at the moment. I just wanted to get my thoughts out there on how I feel now and what I want to do. Even if no one ever reads this blog, it's almost like theory, and something to look back on and read over time. I"m also going to post some photos as well. I've found before that its easy not to spot the changes that are happening over time. So I'm hoping photos at regular intervals will let me see the changes over time and become another source of encouragement.

So, my first day begins and so does my journey from fat to flat........heres to a slimmer more healthy 2007.